Cleave Unto Charity

In the end of the Book of Mormon, the prophet Moroni teaches us about the importance of developing charity. He states, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—

But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him” (Moroni 7:46-47).

Where else is there a greater need for charity than in our relationship with our spouse? It’s all too easy for the natural man to find fault with so many things that our spouses do each day, resulting in negative feelings and reactions towards them. In his book, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, H. Wallace Goddard said, “More than we realize, those negative reactions are a choice, a choice to see in a human, judgemental way. But we can also choose to see in a heavenly and loving way. That choice makes all the difference. Charity can be the lens through which we see each other” (Goddard, p. 114).

As I have stated before, my husband is much better at this than I am. He has chosen on many occasions to overlook my flaws and shortcomings and chooses instead to see my redeeming qualities. I love that he is so positive and encouraging and my biggest fan. It inspires me to be as good as he thinks I am. He already understands an important principle that Goddard shares in his book. “When we love our partners the way they are, we don’t care if they change! That is the very thing that liberates them to change. Acceptance is the key to change in those areas where it is possible” (Goddard, p.127).

I have realized that I need to be more like him in this area. I need to choose the lens of charity when looking at him. I need to love him just the way he is instead of pointing out his flaws to him. Because as Goddard stated, “Criticism does not lead to repentance and growth; It leads to anger, defensiveness, and distance” (Goddard, p. 125).

These are not the outcomes I am hoping for in my marriage. So I must seek for charity...for the pure love of Christ for my husband. But how? Moroni taught us what to do in order to obtain this marvelous and essential gift. He said, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ” (Moroni 7:48).