Unless you have your head buried in the sand, it isn’t hard to see that our world today is filled with so much anger. Anger over religion, social injustice, politics, relationships, and many other things are the motive behind many horrible acts committed everyday in many places around the world. Just read a newspaper or watch the nightly news and you will find plenty of evidence of this fact.
Despite the fact that the adversary tries to convince us that we have no control over our anger, Lynn G. Robbins taught in his talk, Anger and Agency, that anger is a choice. He stated, “A cunning part of his strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control. We hear, “I lost my temper.” Losing one’s temper is an interesting choice of words that has become a widely used idiom. To “lose something” implies “not meaning to,” “accidental,” “involuntary,” “not responsible”—careless perhaps but “not responsible.’”
It’s easy to fall into this trap. It’s easy to feel like a victim and believe that we aren’t at fault. But this isn’t what our Savior teaches us. He teaches us that we have agency and that we can choose. This is an empowering thought and puts the ball in our court.
I remember when I first realized this and that no one could make me mad, or sad, or angry, but that I have the power to choose what emotion I feel and how I will react in any situation. It is important that we understand this in our relationships...especially in our relationships with our spouses.
As Elder Robbins taught, “Aggression, … suppressing the anger, talking about it, screaming and yelling,” are all learned strategies in dealing with anger.” I love this statement. It teaches us that we are in control and that we are responsible for our thoughts and actions. We cannot blame them on others. This is what the war in heaven was fought over...our agency…our divine right to choose for ourselves! What a marvelous gift we have in agency!
Despite the fact that the adversary tries to convince us that we have no control over our anger, Lynn G. Robbins taught in his talk, Anger and Agency, that anger is a choice. He stated, “A cunning part of his strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control. We hear, “I lost my temper.” Losing one’s temper is an interesting choice of words that has become a widely used idiom. To “lose something” implies “not meaning to,” “accidental,” “involuntary,” “not responsible”—careless perhaps but “not responsible.’”
It’s easy to fall into this trap. It’s easy to feel like a victim and believe that we aren’t at fault. But this isn’t what our Savior teaches us. He teaches us that we have agency and that we can choose. This is an empowering thought and puts the ball in our court.
I remember when I first realized this and that no one could make me mad, or sad, or angry, but that I have the power to choose what emotion I feel and how I will react in any situation. It is important that we understand this in our relationships...especially in our relationships with our spouses.
As Elder Robbins taught, “Aggression, … suppressing the anger, talking about it, screaming and yelling,” are all learned strategies in dealing with anger.” I love this statement. It teaches us that we are in control and that we are responsible for our thoughts and actions. We cannot blame them on others. This is what the war in heaven was fought over...our agency…our divine right to choose for ourselves! What a marvelous gift we have in agency!
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