Purity vs Infidelity

Our world today mocks purity and celebrates sexual promiscuity, even in marriage. If only we valued purity as Joseph did, who withstood many sexual advances from Potiphar’s wife. I admire the strength of character that Joseph showed even when we was in prison and Potiphar’s wife again tried to tempt him. He knew he could not betray his master and that he must be true to the covenants he had made with God.

Years ago President Kimball stated that “infidelity is one of the greatest sins of our generation. The movies, the books, the magazine stories all seem to glamorize the faithlessness of husbands and wives. To the world nothing is holy, not even marriage vows. It reminds us of Isaiah, who said, ‘Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil’ (Isaiah 5:20)” (Goddard, p. 86). This statement was made over fifty years ago, and the world today is much worse. What was not acceptable on television and in movies when I was a kid is very common now. We have become desensitized and more accepting of infidelity.

In 2009 Kenneth W. Matheson, a professor at BYU, gave a talk about this subject called Fidelity in Marriage: It’s More Than You Think. He taught, “Fidelity includes refraining from physical contact—but that is not all. Fidelity also means complete commitment, trust, and respect between husband and wife. Inappropriate interactions with another person can erode fidelity.”

There are many people who believe that they can maintain the same relationships with those of the opposite sex after they are married. I have heard people defend this notion and explain that it’s okay because they are “just friends” and that their relationship is “completely innocent.” But there is danger is this idea.

As Brother Matheson taught, “Physical infidelity is only one of the many temptations Satan uses to break up families and marriages. Emotional infidelity, which occurs when emotions and thoughts are focused on someone other than a spouse, is an insidious threat that can weaken the trust between a couple and shatter peace of mind. Emotional infidelity doesn’t usually happen suddenly; rather, it occurs gradually—often imperceptibly at first.”

Emotional infidelity begins innocently, but it leads to division between spouses and can be the beginning of physical infidelity. Brother Matheson gave a list of questions to consider to determine if we have a “need for improved spiritual fidelity” in our marriages.

“Are you turning to your friend for comfort rather than turning to your spouse?”

“Do you find yourself thinking about your friend even when you’re at home?”

“Do you seek opportunities to be with your friend even when work doesn’t require you to be together?”

“Do you e-mail and text your friend when you’re not together?”

“Have you told your spouse about these messages?”

“Does the relationship with your friend take more of your time and energy than your relationship with your spouse?”

“Do you compare your spouse to your friend?”

“Would you be uncomfortable introducing your spouse to your friend?

If we consider these questions and are honest with ourselves and our spouses, we can save ourselves and our marriages a lot of pain and heartache. It may be a tough conversation to have, but it will be well worth it if it would preserve the trust and respect in our marriage. This could be beneficial to our families now and for many generations to come.